Election fever has gripped Dawdle Hall! As I write our candidate is being groomed for power before being unleashed onto the hustings.
While the attention of the world’s media has been focused on lesser political struggles around the globe the good people of Dawdwych are girding their loins.
They are readying themselves for a battle between local titans for control of the mayor’s parlour and all the glamour and glitter that goes with such a top civic post.
Here at Dawdle Hall we feel the community needs strong leadership in these uncertain times. A candidate willing to go that extra mile for the people of the town.
Essential qualities for the such a prestigious position include loyalty, boundless energy, an ability to get on with almost anybody and, indeed, dogged determination.
Not to mention a large appetite to cope with all those formal dinners, tea, biscuits, cakes and cucumber sandwiches. Also, an almost shameless love of the limelight!
Such a combination of talents is rare. After scratching our heads we discovered the perfect candidate hiding in plain sight. Step forward Whimsy our pedigree chum.
While for some choosing a dog might be a bone of contention there is a long and proud history of quadrupeds being elevated to high office and honoured for their achievements.
For a direct comparison look no further than the legendary Bosco Ramos. The labrador and rottweiler cross was elected mayor of Sunol, California in 1981 and served with distinction until his death in 1994.
He made headlines around the world and was such a success they even erected a statue of him in front of the town Post Office in 2008. A tough act for Whimsy to follow you may think, but his candidacy is not to be sniffed at.
While Bosco was something of a pioneer Duke the Great Pyrenean Mountain dog has a real nose for politics and is retiring after being mayor of Cormorant, Minnesota, since 2014. He hangs out at the local pub lapping up the attention…and the occasional beer!
Lady Winifred and I are not taking anything for granted and are bracing ourselves for a hard fought campaign. As well as the odd two legged ‘rat’ that might be tempted to take on Whimsy who knows what else might emerge from the Dawdwych woodwork.
After all a veritable menagerie of animals have stood for public office at one time or another. The list includes a gorilla, rhino, mule, turtle, goat, cat, boar, pig, turkey, chicken and fish. Not to mention a tin of foot powder, which won, and a fire hydrant!
Not to be outdone by Duke the dog, who wore a special ceremonial hat and collar, Lady Winifred is hard at work making robes befitting Whimsy’s widely anticipated new status. Unfortunately the first two designs did not meet with the candidate’s approval.
To say he is getting his teeth into the role would be an understatement. No sooner had the carefully constructed capes and hats been fitted than they disappeared in a blizzard of shredded silk and soggy, chewed felt. The next outfits will be made of sterner stuff!
Canvassing has also proved troublesome. Rather than charming voters on the doorstep with a proffered paw and ‘aren’t I adorable’ puppy eyes Whimsy is more interested in chasing after squirrels and pigeons. Expressions like ‘rough diamond’ and ‘character candidate’ spring to mind.
He certainly won’t be winning hearts and minds at this rate let alone anything like The Dickin Medal. The last two dogs to who earned this gallantry gong Mali and Kuga braved bombs and bullets while serving with special forces in Afghanistsan. Both Belgian Malinois the former was injured three times by grenade explosions and the latter was shot five times. Puts pet politics into perspective!
Drawing by Ian Sciacaluga