Hey Presto! it’s Lord Horatio here,

Up until now I have always kept my distance when it comes to wizards and witches, but a strange encounter last night brought the whole question of magic a little too close for comfort.

On my way out of The Hall for a stroll round the grounds with Whimsy, I happened to glance into the Lounge. Standing in the middle of the room was Lady Dawdle clutching an ornate looking wand.

With a look of intense concentration on her face she was waving it about and jabbing the air. Had my good lady wife secretly taken up the dark arts or just taken leave of her senses?

I became somewhat spellbound watching her antics. Eventually a polite cough from yours truly brought the curious choreography to an abrupt halt and dangled a large question mark over the proceedings.

Much to my relief Lady Dawdle revealed the wand had been a gift from our mercurial nephew Simon and his dearly beloved, Belinda. Once programmed, the clever stick controls all manner of household gadgets.

With a dramatic swish you can turn on the televisual device, a casual flick will change the channels and a sharp jab selects your favourite programme. Tremendous fun. Eat your heart out Harry Potter, I say!

Apparently Simon and Belinda had tried it out while staying at a suitably Gothic folly down in darkest Kent. In a bid to escape the winter gloom they had decamped to Hadlow Tower in Kent for what’s known as a “Potterthon.”

While the rain lashed against the windows and the wind howled around them they snuggled down to watch all of the Harry Potter films, including the extras, back to back – fuelled by a supply of suitable provisions and libations.  

The Hadlow Tower (pictured above) has been recently restored at vast expense by the wonderful Vivat Trust. Tastefully furnished to a very high standard, it has all mod cons – including a lift – and is available for self catering holidays.

It soars to a height of 175ft and was reputedly built in “Strawberry Gothic” style with intricate stonework so a jealous husband could spy on his estranged wife and lord it over snooty neighbours, who looked down on him socially.

There are now three bedrooms, including one close to the top of the tower with magnificent views, bathrooms, a kitchen, lounge and dining room. If you would like to see more I have placed a magic lantern show in The Snug https://dawdleandwhimsy.com/about/the-snug/ 

For those who fancy sprinkling a little magic dust onto the sedentary act of channel changing I heartily recommend a visit to Diagon alley, or if this proves too difficult, the Wand Company at http://www.thewandcompany.com/ 

Dr Who fans take note – they also do a Sonic Screwdriver. All splendidly supercalifragilisticexpeallidotious!

Hats Off this week to: World pun champion Benjamin Ziek of Glendale, California, who will defend his crown in May. Can he better the fiery routine peppered with spicy quips that took the title last year. My personal favourite is the football headline about Ian Callaghan and Queens Park Ranger from the 1970s: “Super Cally Goes Ballistic, QPR atrocious.”

Also the space experts at NASA who are preparing for a manned trip to Mars in 2033. Contrary to popular belief the type of person who is likely to survive a journey of 56 million kms lasting eight months is not a superfit, outdoor loving fighter pilot. They are talking about someone who likes things like films, stamp collecting and “confinement.” 

Plus Alessandro Alessandroni, revealed as the man who whistled his way through the spaghetti western soundtracks, taking tweeting to a whole new level. And Alex Holland who is the reigning Shed Of The Year champion thanks to his upturned boat conversion.

Hoist the mainsail me hearties it’s Lord Horatio here again!

Having spent a soggy morning with a team of burly yeomen dragging fallen trees out of the recently expanded lake, I settled down with a glass of “old mainbrace splicer” to ponder my next move. Four glugs of my favourite tincture later it hit me like a mallet. I could caulk two planks with one wad, so as to speak. The answer was simple. Build a gigantic ark!

What was good enough for old Noah………… With one fell swoop I could get rid of all the timber blown down by the gales and do my bit for the coming armageddon caused by global warming. By renting out cabins I could cover the construction costs and, who knows, perhaps have enough money left over to fix the leaky Dawdle Hall roof.

Two glasses later I was inspired and sketching designs on the back of the latest missive from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs. It was then that it hit me, not like a mallet this time, but a flourescent red juggling club dropped onto my slippers by my faithful Spaniel Whimsy.

Bemused I attempted to pick it up, but he was too quick and shot out of the door and down the hall. A mixture of curiosity and dread sent me off in hot pursuit. As we neared the ballroom I could hear a strange clattering followed by cussing from within. What could this be?

There in the middle of the floor, thankfully not under the chandelier, was my oddball nephew Simon attempting, with a varying degree of success, to launch a succession of lurid looking juggling clubs into the air. The resulting blizzard of batons rouge was mesmerising.

I had no idea he possessed such a talent and during a break in proceedings he revealed he had just got back from Chocfest 2014. With a flourish he produced his mobile phone and bid me watch a grainy video (see above), which seemed to encapsulate the spirit of the occasion admirably.

Apparently every year there is a juggling convention held in York where participants who bake a chocolate cake get in for a reduced admission. How this had been going for almost 20 years without me being aware is one of life’s great mysteries. it attracts some of the finest ring, ball, hat, club, poi, staff and other object manipulators from around the globe.

At the end of the day the cakes are judged, prizes awarded and the results eagerly devoured by the crowd, hungry after a day of dazzling displays of manual dexterity. See the recipe for the winning cake at http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/chocolate_brownie_64092

Warming to the theme Simon has added his favourite video clips via links in the Ballroom. https://dawdleandwhimsy.com/about/the-ballroom/ . I strongly recommend you have a look. I mean to say, nine clubs in one go. Just Incredible!

This weeks Hats Off to: German artist Jan Vormann who never travels without a suitcase full of lego. Whenever he finds a crack in a wall he repairs it using a multitude of the little multicoloured bricks.

Also an Icelandic “Elf-help” group. They have joined forces with environmentalists to protest about a road plan due to go ahead near Reykjavik. Fears that the “little people” might be disturbed have helped halt the scheme until the Supreme Court looks at the case. 

And to Sue Webster and Tim Noble from Britain who have made a woodland chess set. The board is carved out of a tree stump and the pieces are modelled on their collection of mummified animals, cast in bronze.

Not to mention the developer who has built an English village outside Shanghai complete with red telephone boxes and mock Tudor houses. There is also a cafe in the Chinese city dedicated to Sherlock Holmes. 

And finally those clever clogs at Imperial College, London, for coming up with clothes for old folk that harden up when they fall over protecting their limbs and joints. It’s apparently all down to something called Armourgel which toughens on impact. Hoorah!